Ray Lewis will be doing his final dance next Sunday at the Super Bowl in New Orleans.  But there are some places I don't think he should be visiting.

Ray Lewis will be doing his final dance next Sunday at the Super Bowl in New Orleans. But there are some places I don’t think he should be visiting.

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The two main story lines for the upcoming Super Bowl are going to be shoved down your throat so hard, that you are going to need a skill-crane lowered down your esophagus to dislodge them.  If they can’t be removed the way they went in, The “Harbowl” and Ray Lewis are going to set your hemorrhoids on fire on the way out.  There’s no tub of Preparation-H big enough to smear on your anus to put that fire out.

I think we're going to need a bigger tube.

I think we’re going to need a bigger tube.

 

Personally, I couldn’t give my left testicle about how Jim used to put snot in John’s socks when they were kids, and that John’s favorite thing to do with his brother as a kid was to play tag.  Just get to the damn game and I could do without the fluff.  But on the other hand  I care about the Ray Lewis story so much more.  The guy’s story is just amazing.

I could just watch this over and over and over again…

RayLewisFInalDance_original

You would figure that a player accused of murder, especially during his playing career, would never be able to recover from that.  But somehow he’s climbed out of the lowest place possible, to the pinnacle of the sport.  I’m not going to get into an ethics discussion here, but if I was Ray, there would be a few places that I would NOT be visiting during my time in New Orleans.

To make it easier for you, and for that matter, Ray, I have included an interactive Google map for all parties.


Move the map around the city of New Orleans and click on the icons to see the descriptions

If there are any other places you don’t think Ray should visit, please don’t hesitate to drop a suggestion in the comments section and I can add it, along with your twitter handle if you have one.

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