Joe Pontillo

Joe Pontillo is a stand-up comedian and sports enthusiast. Follow Joe on Twitter @JoePontillo

I used to live under this bridge...

I used to live under this bridge…

 

The latest installment to the MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE (and you have to type that it all capital letters or you don’t mean it), “Ant-Man” hit theaters last week and on Tuesday afternoon I got to view it. The guy sitting next to me at the theater fell asleep but that probably had nothing to do with the movie. Spoilers ahead….kind of.

Read the rest of this entry »

This scene might have saved the movie.

This scene might have saved the movie.

 

I’m a little late to this party, plus I saw the film last week but I feel a review is necessary.  I wasn’t really a fan of any of the first “Jurassic Park” movies. I suppose the first one is OK, helped by the fact that the greatest actor of all time Jeff Goldblum (See above) is in it.  Now we come to this movie which seems to live by the notion of “Hey, remember that terrible idea we had one time? Well let’s do it again but even bigger!”.  This movie also should have been called “Increasingly Bad Decisions By Corporate America”.

Read the rest of this entry »

My eyelids are getting heavy...

My eyelids are getting heavy…

Behold, a blow by blow breakdown of a typical Terry Collins post game interview.  Warning: This is merely a parody no matter how close to the truth it may seem.

Read the rest of this entry »

Read the rest of this entry »

Kids, don't try this at home.

Kids, don’t try this at home.

Let me preface this by saying I am a big Sandy Alderson fan.  I bought this book around the start of the season and planned to give it a mostly sarcastic review, but then the Mets got off to an extremely hot start and I thought “Maybe they are revived?” so that kind of took the air out of my plan.  Now that we are at Memorial Day, the Mets season has taken a hilarious turn for the worse. So I thought; why not lighten the mood by finally doing this book review.

Read the rest of this entry »

This is only a third of the characters who appear in this film.

This is only a third of the characters who appear in this film.

 

I was doing comic book movie reviews on here for a while but started slacking off after seeing “X-Men: Days Of Future Past”.  I only recently caught up on the rest of 2014 by watching “Guardians Of The Galaxy” and “The Amazing Spider-Man 2”.  Quick review: One was awesome, one was an abomination.  Last night though, I got to see “Avengers: Age Of Ultron” at a sold out theater on Long Island.   Full disclosure, I saw the first Avengers movie at a midnight showing with a bunch of nerds (No offense) and kind of hated it.  I have since watched it again on TV and hated it less tough.   Read the rest of this entry »

Why you hate me?

Why you hate me?

 

Bartolo Colon (Who probably won’t be on the Mets come August) will be your Opening Day starter for 2015.  Guess what? I don’t give a crap and neither should you. Opening Day is meaningless and you need to stop raging about it.  Read a book, hug your wife/kids.  This is not worth it.

Read the rest of this entry »

Iconic pose.

Iconic pose.

 

The Milwaukee Brewers announced that they will be adding something called the “Selig Experience” to Miller Park.  It will be a museum dedicated to recently retired baseball commissioner Bud Selig.  It sounds like the worst thing anyone could ever possibly imagine.  So before it opens and gets covered in eggs and graffiti lets take a virtual (Fake) look at what might be inside.

Read the rest of this entry »

Ruining your neighborhood soon!

Ruining your neighborhood soon!

 

On October 5th, “Hank Is Evil: The Movie” will premiere to the world…and by the world I mean a few hundred people at the Bellmore Theatre in Bellmore, NY.  This is a film that has dominated much of the last year of my life and now it is ready to be viewed by the masses.

Read the rest of this entry »

Decades Of Hate!

Decades Of Hate!

 

One thing that absolutely irritates me about New York sports is the amount of fake local rivalries we have here.  And I was reminded of my hatred of false rivalries last night when the Jets took on the Giants in a preseason game.  This happens every year and it’s called the Snoopy Bowl. Because Metlife Stadium is named after Metlife who has Snoopy as their mascot, lol! The Giants won and guess what? It meant absolutely nothing.   This of course didn’t stop fans from talking an unwarranted amount of trash talk towards one another.  Both teams have enough teams within their own division that they can hate there is absolutely no reason to hate each other.

Read the rest of this entry »