Joe Pontillo

Joe Pontillo is a stand-up comedian and sports enthusiast. Follow Joe on Twitter @JoePontillo

Sandy shoulda known!

Sandy shoulda known!

Hey, remember that mostly awful movie “Euro Trip” when Matt Damon makes a ridiculous cameo singing the song “Scotty didn’t know”? Yeah, me neither.  But Matt Damon is back singing a new song for Mets fans who thought that Sandy Alderson was some kind of wizard with the power to predict the future. The song is of course titled “Sandy Shoulda Known!”

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If you don't play hard, I will fight you.

If you don’t play hard, I will fight you.

It’s that time of year where Mets fans have had enough of Terry Collins saying that the team is tired after every loss, and rightfully so. If the team is so tired then maybe they should attend the Citi Field sleepover and make things really awkward for the fans.  So yeah Terry Collins needs to go and the sexy replacement pick for the last few years has been Wally Backman.  The push for Wally isn’t as epic this year mainly because no other team has seemed even remotely interested him during the past few offseasons and some of his biggest fans are in jail.

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Baseball, catch the fever.

Baseball, catch the fever.

MLB Draft Day to the 5 people who give a crap. All I know is the Astros drafted a guy who will probably be in the major leagues by September, the Mets drafted a guy who probably already sucks, and the Yankees drafted a guy who kind of looks like a douche bag.  Read the rest of this entry »

Somebody say time travel?

Somebody say time travel?

 

I saw X-Men: Days Of Future Past last night (I hope that’s the last time I have to write out the whole title).  The film is the first comic book movie to use time travel so I guess that’s some sort of milestone that geeks everywhere should be proud of. I thought the movie was great although I didn’t think it was as good as “X-Men: First Class” and actually have a fair amount of complaints about it.  I loved “X-Men: First Class” and “X-Men 2” This film might go right behind them ranking wise although I haven’t seen X 2 in ages so I should probably rewatch so I can better judge the quality of these films because that is what’s important in life.  (Oh yeah, minor spoilers ahead)

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Spends most of the day standing in front of this sign.

Spends most of the day standing in front of this sign.

 

Because no one asked for it……a look at a day in the life of of super agent Scott Boras.  (All of this is completely fictional…probably/hopefully)

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How sexually inappropriate.

How sexually inappropriate.

 

Robinson Cano made his return to Yankee Stadium the other night after leaving for the Seattle Mariners in the offseason.  His return was met with boos and some fans yelling “You sold out!”  There are about 15 different things wrong with that statement.  While Cano’s contract is ludicrous and outrageous, what kind of human being in their right mind would turn down $240 million dollars to return to a team that barely made you an offer and then dissed you by throwing way too much money at a guy who used to play for their biggest rival!?

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Who You Calling A Hood Ornament?

Who You Calling A Hood Ornament?

 

Former Mets outfielder and probably fan favorite to many, Mookie Wilson is coming out with a tell-all book. (Because there’s so much to tell!) Of course it is filled with lots of things that caused a stir in the Mets organization including but not limited to, saying that this current regime doesn’t respect the 86′ Mets. Um, pretty sure Tim Teufel who is also the 3rd base coach was an 86 Met.  Also Keith Hernandez and Ron Darling are in the  TV both and Bobby Ojeda is screaming his face off after every post game. Oh and Wally Backman is the AAA manager.  So yeah, I think the 86′ Mets are fairly well respected.

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Ike Davis is coming....but why?

Ike Davis is coming….but why?

The Ike Davis era has ended. On Friday night the Mets traded him to the Pittsburgh Pirates for minor league reliever Zach Thorton and a PLAYER TO BE NAMED LATER!!!!  That is in all caps because it is the next thing that fans will freak out and obsess over until it is resolved.   As a longtime Ike Davis fan and Lucas Duda slanderer I am mildly displeased with this turn of events.  However I also don’t care that much because it was a silly move to keep basically the same player on the roster twice. Davis and Duda are basically the same guy except one of them drinks beer and the other one chews the outfield grass.
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America! Oh no!

America! Oh no!

 

I went to see “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” on the night it premiered because I am a tool.  I have to say it ranks up there as one of the better comic book movies in recent years.  Captain America of course is part of the Avengers whose movie was filled with lots of laughs and a pretty mediocre plot.  However, all the Avenger based films since then that have came out really stepped up their game. “Thor: The Dark World” was pretty amazing and I actually didn’t see “Iron Man 3” but that’s probably a good thing. Looking forward to “Hulk: Look Who’s Smashing Now”  Read the rest of this entry »

0-162 bro!

0-162 bro!

Let me start by saying ahahahahahaahahahahahahaha! Ok, now that that is out of my system…the Mets lost for a rare time on Opening Day today by a score of 9-7.  As per usual the only thing more embarrassing than the Mets play today was the reaction of some of the fans.  I think the problem here is that we have become accustom to the team winning every Opening Day and starting off the season on a high note so when they lose the first game of the season we immediately expect the team to challenge the 1962 Mets record for futility.  Now, everyone take a deep breath and repeat after me “Opening Day, means nothing.”

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