Joe Pontillo

Joe Pontillo is a stand-up comedian and sports enthusiast. Follow Joe on Twitter @JoePontillo

MLB Fan Cave Spoof

We take a break from my usual ranting and kvetching about the Mets and other sports related debacles to bring you my newest sketch video which lampoons the MLB  Fan Cave.  If you’re unfamiliar with it then check out this site http://mlb.mlb.com/fancave/  In the actual MLB fan cave between 10-15 fans are chosen to spend the year watching games and hanging out with players but for the purposes of this video there is only one lucky or not so lucky fan who is chosen.  Enjoy!

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Scored 4 TD's for Polk High while wearing a tuxedo.

Scored 4 TD’s for Polk High while wearing a tuxedo.

 

After a grueling seven game series that included Lebron James dragging the half dead corpses of Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh around, the Miami Heat defeated the Indiana Pacers to move on to the NBA finals. Yay parity! I honestly couldn’t give two shits about either team, but I guess gun to my head I was sort of rooting for the Pacers.  Herein lies the reason why I have grown to hate the NBA, because it’s just not a fun league.  It’s dominated by moronic and corrupt referees who think the fans show up to see them blow the whistle every five seconds.  Also the league is no longer about rooting for your favorite team it’s about rooting against the best team in the league.  This has been the case for years, in the 90’s it was cool to hate the Bulls and at various times over the years the team to hate was either the Lakers or the Celtics.  Now you’re either a fan of the Heat (most of their fans seem to not live anywhere near Florida though) or you’re ultimately rooting against the Heat, which has been the case ever since Lebron aired his award winning documentary “The Decision”.  Maybe I’m just a bitter a Knicks fan but probably not since I only barely care about Knicks and literally shrugged when they were pathetically eliminated by the Pacers in the second round. Read the rest of this entry »

I'm screwed.

I’m screwed.

I have never become so disgusted over a Mets team in my twenty-three years or so that I’ve been legitimately following them.  First of all, the clown featured in the photo above needs to go ASAP.  The team clearly doesn’t give a shit about anything he has to say and he has no clue how to run a baseball team, never has.  He brought some positive vibes here in 2011 and temporarily changed the culture of the clubhouse but he’s done now.  I don’t care who they replace him with because this season is fucked anyway. Read the rest of this entry »

Root, root, root, root for the home clothes!

Root, root, root, root for the home clothes!

As the 2013 baseball season enters its second month, New York Mets first baseman Ike Davis looks as though his major league career might not be long for this Earth.  This is the second straight year that Ike has gotten off to a horrifically brutal start.  Last year it was slightly understandable as his ankle wasn’t fully healed and he had a slight bout with Valley Fever.   But this season after posting better than a .300 average in spring training (I know spring training doesn’t mean much.)  it looked like Ike would be closer to where he was before his ankle injury in 2011. Read the rest of this entry »

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Help I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!

Earlier this week I was set to write this epic post where I was going to breakdown the age-old question of who is better, David Wright or Jose Reyes?….And then last night happened. If you haven’t heard Jose Reyes suffered a nasty leg injury while sliding (sort of) into second base during a game between the Blue Jays and the Kansas City Royals. (Video after the jump)

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Empty Yankee Stadium 2

Yankee Stadium was completely empty before the game was over on opening day.

Opening day is like New Years Eve.  Lots of drunks and far too much optimism. Much like New Years Eve, that optimism dies a horrible death a month or two later when you realize your team sucks or your new years resolution was a lie.  Regardless, an opening day victory from your favorite baseball team will get you giddy.  Giddy enough to where you start planning out your team’s playoff rotation.  Opening Day 2013 has arrived, and I’ll run though some of the highlights, or most likely the low lights, of the most important games of the day. Read the rest of this entry »

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The 2013 NLOL East

March 26, 2013 by

 

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Filthy Animal

 

Another baseball season is upon us and with it brings a litany of irrational predictions from fans, beat writers, analysts, and crazy homeless people who live in front of my building.  For my inaugural blog for TSB I have decided to throw out the most irrational preseason prediction ever!   Let’s start with the 2013 final standings…get ready to laugh/challenge me to a fight.

W L GB
Nationals 94 68
Mets 87 75 7
Braves 83 79 11
Phillies 80 82 14
Marlins 71 91 23

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