Archive for August, 2012

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One day after being arrested for domestic battery, the Miami Dolphins have released veteran wide receiver Chad Johnson.  The ‘Phins initially chose Chad Johnson over Plaxico Burress, Terrel Owens, Braylon Edwards and others in part because he doesn’t get in trouble off the field.  Child, please.  Read the rest of this entry »

Last night, while I was watching the cacophony that was Sportscenter during the Dwight Howard debacle, I couldn’t help but feel sick to my stomach. I think the easiest way to do this is by doing a blog about the winners and losers of this trade.

Winners: LA Lakers

Holy fucking shit, do the rich get richer or what? I mean, the Lakers getting Dwight Howard is akin to the reports of Mitt Romney having never paid taxes in the past 10 years. With a lineup of Nash and Kobe in the backcourt, Dwight and Pau as their bigs, and a piece of hot, steaming pile of turd at SF and they can sleepwalk through the season and still get to 60 wins. This is a team that traded Vlade Divac for Kobe Bryant. That signed Shaq away from Orlando. Traded for Pau Gasol for Marc Gasol (okay, that was kind of fair actually). They traded scrubs for Kareem. They were awarded the Jazz’s first round pick (which turned out to be Magic Johnson) for an aging Gail Goodrich. I’m currently hoping for a chance that, somehow, Bane exists and is cooking up a plot to somehow pull a backbreaker on Dwight. THEN, he’ll have my permission to die. 

But then again, their coach is still Mike Brown. Wait, I think Buss family is currently on the phone with Phil Jackson.  Read the rest of this entry »

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If you were wondering who the hottest Olympian of the 2012 London Summer Games is, look no further.  Leryn Franco, javelin thrower of Paraguay is hands down the hottest Olympian.  I think it’s safe to say that no one even comes close.  Her personal best throw is 57.77 meters, but I don’t care if she can only throw the javelin 57.77 inches.  The 30 year old athlete/model is an absolute DIME.  Check out some more photos of this week’s Total Sports Babe, Leryn Franco: Read the rest of this entry »

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Michael Phelps is the most decorated Olympian of all-time with 22 medals, 18 of them being gold.  Although people I know personally who knew him at Michigan say he is kind of a prick, you got to give props to someone who has brought so much glory to ‘Merica.  “Sorry brah, couldn’t accept your friend request on facebook because I’m too busy crushing Subway sandwiches and swimming into the record books” (not an actual Michael Phelps quote). Read the rest of this entry »

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Since the start of the 2012 Summer Olympics in London I’ve rarely watched any other form of television programming.  International competition brings out a sense of nationalism in me that is rarely displayed (unless I’m at a USMNT soccer match).  I love rooting for ‘Merica.  Whether it’s water polo, soccer, gymnastics, basketball or track & field, it doesn’t matter to me.  If the U.S. of A. has a chance at winning, I’m glued to the TV.

This morning, like any other for the past week and a half, I tuned in to the Olympics coverage on NBC.  Instead of beach volleyball or something equally worth watching, there were a bunch of no names from countries I can barely pronounce kneeling in canoes, paddling on one side only.  The event was called the “canoe sprint”. 

Equipped with specially designed boats that prevent the “athletes” from just paddling in circles, these guys hacked at the water for a couple of minutes until they reached the other side of the water.  Worst sport ever, or so I thought. Read the rest of this entry »

“51” isn’t just the episode that confirms that Walter White is the danger but that he is a danger to everyone around him. Walter was the reason Hank was a near parapalegic and almost killed twice (by the twins and by Gus Fring). Walter was the reason behind every terrible experience in Jesse’s life since he’s met him. Walt was the reason why Mike’s granddaughter doesn’t have money in her bank account and why he’s back in the meth business. Walt is the reason why Skyler’s having a serious mental breakdown. Sure, Walt is helping in making them all significantly richer but at what cost?* Read the rest of this entry »

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After a week and a half off, I’m back to bring you a last-minute Total Sports Babes.  This week’s submission was suggested by reader @matt__harris.  Ellen Hoog is a member of the Dutch National Women’s Field Hockey Team.  I was completely unaware that there was such a thing as a hot field hockey player.  Back in high school, we used to call our ladies field hockey squad “the girls football team” (and I don’t mean soccer).  What could be sexy about a bunch of girls with mouth guards running around hunched over carrying crooked sticks?  26 year old Ellen Hoog is your answer.  Check out some more photos of this week’s Total Sports Babe, Dutch Olympian Ellen Hoog: Read the rest of this entry »