The holiday season is upon us, and Total Sports Blog is full of Christmas spirit. All of the writers here at TSB have collaborated on this post to bring you Total Sports Blog’s Christmas List:
Dear Santa, You’ve made it incredibly difficult to be a fan of any New York team this year. While I’m fully aware that you are a fake entity and have absolutely nothing to do with the fate of NY sports, I need someone to blame and I feel like placing it square on your jolly, fat, rounded shoulders. All I want for Christmas is:
A hot tub time machine to travel back in time to when Mariah Carey took the above photo.
Tyson Chandler’s fibula to be put back together.
Raymond Felton not to eat all the candy in my stocking. Geno Smith to throw to the guys wearing green and white.
The Knicks brass to dump players and bad contracts in exchange for draft picks, not the other way around.
For Sydney Leroux to marry me. OK, a date with Sydney Leroux. Shit, I’ll settle for a re-tweet on Twitter from Sydney.
A Jets or Knicks championship in my lifetime. I don’t need both. Either one will do.
And finally, one of those talkboy recorders from Home Alone 2. Although I have no use for it as an adult, I always wanted one as a kid.
From NASCAR Krissy:
I hope you are rested and ready for your big trip in just a few days. I wanted you to know I have tried to be a good girl all year and have listened to others most of the time. I hope I am on your nice list as these are a few things I want for Christmas:
Auburn to win the National Championship so I can brag to all my Bama family even more. War Eagle!!!
Wes Welker to get healthy so we can have him in the playoffs.
Denver Broncos to win a Super Bowl so Peyton Manning can have two rings.
Dale Earnhardt, Jr. to win a NASCAR Sprint Cup Series championship in 2014.
Alex Rodriguez to quit lying about the steroid use and take his ban like a man. The slamming of fists and being a jerk is making the public realize the truth, as my grandmother use to say.
Please tell Mrs. Claus and the elves I said hello. Can’t wait to see what is under my tree.
All I want for Christmas is:
A crazy Amanda Bynes Twitter rant.
Kanye to take a vow of silence
Miley to blast her concert so loud when she’s at Izod that I can hear it from my apartment
Oh and Beyoncé and Taylor Swift to just stop.
All I want for Xmas…
For Jason Garrett to learn simple math
The Cowboys to have salary cap space
The NFL to end the season after the Thanksgiving day games.
Knicks fans to stop telling me that Melo is a top 5 player
Is for Jack Capuano to be fired
Is for the Jets to draft Johnny Manziel
For A-Rod not to get suspended
For Bartolo Colon to just eat innings, not everything in sight
For Anchorman 2 commercials/Promos to stop
And for Roy Hibbert to put icy hot on his balls again
From Mike Lucas:
Dear Santa,All I want for Christmas this year is:
Jason Kidd to be fired and for the Nets to hire a real head coach.
An entire new offensive line that can actually protect Eli Manning.
A new set of legs for Kobe Bryant.
For the Yankees to take back the mega-deal they gave Jacoby Ellsbury.
All I want for Christmas is…
For the Knicks to stop existing.
For James Dolan to be arrested for crimes against humanity.
For A-Rod to avoid suspension and piss off the Yankees.
For the Mets to win 90 games and make the playoffs without Matt Harvey so all the Omar apologists can shut up.
For the Giants to finally shoot Kevin Gilbride into the sun.
For Rage Against The Machine to release new music even though I will probably end up hating it.
All I want for Christmas is for Amar’e to not turn his back on the person he’s guarding when they have the ball:
For Mike Woodson to learn when to call a timeout in crucial late game situations.
For James Dolan to let the Knicks City Dancers dance.
Scratch that last one. All I want for Christmas is for James Dolan to sell the team to someone that is sane and competent.
For a competent player to man second and third base for the New York Yankees.
Eli Manning to inject so much Botox into his face that he can’t do the Eli Manning derp face.
For Kanye West to not stop running his mouth because I find it immensely entertaining.
For Dr. Dre’s Detox to come out before I die. LOL who am I kidding? Not even Santa could make that happen.
Game Of Thrones to come back as soon as bloody wedding possible.
And for Hook and Earl to let me stop watching The Walking Dead.
Merry Christmas everyone!