That's what the NFL thought of my predictions.

That’s what the NFL thought of my predictions.

Holy crap what a bizarre season in the NFL.  While I was cool enough to win the pigskin pick’em league that TSB put together, I was awful enough to make some really shitty predictions for this NFL season that ended on Sunday. Before the season the only two predictions that got any real response were the Giants and Cowboys.  I had them both going 8-8 and those were probably my most accurate predictions as the Cowboys finished a stellar 8-8 while the Giants got off to a sexy 0-6 start before finishing the season 7-3 and not embarrassing themselves any further. If you wish to view my preseason predictions….here is that disaster:

What happened?

What happened?

AFC East: I was pretty much right about everything except that I was one of the douchebags who pegged the Jets as a 4 win team.  What can I say I bought into the negative hype. *Slaps wrist*  Good job by the Jets this season and I like bringing Rex Ryan back for one more year.  He works better under pressure….and feet.

AFC North: I nailed the order that the teams would finished but the Steelers were worse than I thought, the Ravens were about where I thought they would be, and the Browns were even more Browns like than I could have ever imagined.  One day Cleveland, one day!

AFC South: Omg Texans WTF? Even the Jaguars won more games than the Texans and they had a random fan playing quarterback for most of the season. I was correct in picking the Colts to win the division but everything else left me shaken and confused.

AFC West: Broncos and Chiefs were at the top of the division but who knew the tandem of Andy Reid and Alex Smith would make Kansas City into an elite team.  Kudos to the Chargers for taking advantage of a sad battle for the 2nd wild card and sneaking into the playoffs.

NFC North: What a disaster the Lions are, next year I’m going to just omit them from my predictions.  Good riddance to Jim Schwartz and his douche face.  Aaron Rodgers missed a big chunk of the season and the Packers still made the playoffs.  There’s also a rumor swirling around that he’s gay and frankly that would explain a lot….not that there’s anything wrong with that.

NFC South: This division mocks my existence.  I picked the Bucs to win it….hahahahah….holy shit what a car wreck that team was. Josh Freeman was awful, Doug Martin missed most of the season Greg Schiano kept telling his defense to push the return guy out of bounds and attack the kicker even when he wasn’t on the field.  The Saints bounced back from Bounty-Gate, the Falcons were terrible and somehow the Panthers became a real team again.

NFC West: This division got even more complicated with the emergence of the Arizona Cardinals….oh and the Rams weren’t terrible either.  Remember when the Seahawks won this division with a 7-9 record? Neither do I!

NFC East: Oh this division. I predicted that the Redskins would win it and they almost played themselves out of existence this year. Maybe they should change their name after all, it might help.  We talked about the Cowboys and Giants and it was the Eagles; the team that everyone forgot who emerged as the winner of this putrid facade of a division.

Stay out of the alamo...or don't.

Stay out of the alamo…or don’t.

Round 1 Playoff Predictions! 

Colts beat The Chiefs:  Luck plays like shit but gets the credit anyway.

Chargers beat the Bengals:  Chargers were supposed to suck this year so now they’re going to troll us all.

Saints beat the Eagles: Philadephia puts up a good fight but Drew Brees is too good. Mass vomiting ensues.

Packers beat the 49ers:  Aaron Rodgers is too annoying to lose and the 49ers don’t get to go the NFC championship game 3 years in a row.

Follow me on Twitter: @JoePontillo