ou remember this guy? Oh, I’m sure you do. The smart guy from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? He rocked a purple mask and had a big, long stick as a weapon. Yep, that’s right! That’s Donatello. Ah, nostalgia. I used to wake up on Saturday morning and watch him make contraptions, get into adventures with the other Ninja Turtles and everything felt right with the world. Well, everything was right until Michael Bay got his hands on the rights of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. What you’ll see below is the new interpretation of what Donatello looks like. Brace yourselves.
What the hell? What is this? Okay, we’re going to go through this one by one.
- This guy is rocking Beats by Dre headphones. Why? Why would a Ninja Turtle ever need Beats By Dre Headphones? They don’t even have ears!
- Is he wearing Warby Parker glasses? Since when have the Ninja Turtles become vision impaired? Is Michael Bay also implying that if you’re the smart one, that automatically means that you need to wear glasses? My brain hurts from trying to wrap my brain around this.
- My dude is rocking a Nokia phone at the bottom right corner of the picture. No self respecting person, let alone a hipster, would be rocking a Nokia phone. How would he update the TMNT Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook accounts and keep all of their fans abreast of their fantastic adventures on a Nokia phone? Splinter raised him better than that.
- Are those Spy Gear goggles on his head? You remember Spy Gear as a kid, don’t you? They were surveillance toys from the 80′s and 90′s made for paranoid kids who wanted to spy on their enemies/friends. Why does a ninja have Spy Gear? He’s a ninja. A ninja doesn’t need spy gear in order to spy on people. He uses his ninja skills to do that.
- Is he rocking a proton pack on the back of his shell? Can someone remind Michael Bay that this is the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and not the Ghostbusters? Maybe he’s carrying a Transformer on his back?
So far after watching the trailer and looking at some screenshots, I’ve seen some good things and some bad things about the TMNT reboot. This screenshot of Donatello is one of those bad things and has me dreading the movie coming out.