Unless you lived in a cardboard box, you know what “50 Shades of Grey” is. If you are a woman, you are extremely excited….probably in your lady parts. If you are a human heterosexual male, you are angry that this is a thing. If you lived inside of a cardboard box, I’m surprised that that actually worked in preventing you from hearing about this abomination. I’m also wondering if cardboard boxes are rent controlled in NYC? How does one go about acquiring one of these things? Simply for the purposes of avoiding “50 Shades of Grey” hype. I mean, even Queen Beyonce of the Bey hive has decided to prop up the trailer on her instagram. So naturally, all the womens are being worked up into a frenzy. If you have interest in the trailer, peep after the jump.

OH GREAT. An exclusive new version of Beyonce’s “Crazy In Love” as well?

And as you can tell from the trailer, this is completely suspect to watch if you’re a guy. This is a moving image version of a novel with Fabio on the cover. Don’t you dare go to this movie unless you’re on a date and even then, you must exercise your will to prevent this from happening.

But then again, this could be a good thing because handcuffs and other freaky stuff might start to be in vogue and stuff.