“Sowf Beach” is Where It’s At

Let me start off by apologizing in advance if I fall asleep while writing this article. “I decided to take my talents to Sowf Beech”, and as many guys know, that can be very tiring.

It’s essentially been a month since LeBron James ended the saga of where he was going to play in 2010 by hosting his own1 hour love fest, AKA “The Decision”, with the “help” of ESPN and the Boys and Girls Club of America. By reading a few of my earlier posts, you can tell I hate the NBA for a gazillion reasons.  When I first heard about “The Decision”,  I threw up in my mouth a little bit.  But I can honestly say, I’m in the minority think that this fiasco might actually be good for LeBron and the NBA.

Here’s why I like LeBron going to “Sowf Beach” to play for the Miami Heat.

1.  “Taking my talents to South Beach” (I’m going to continue to say “Sowf Beach” because that’s actually how LeBron pronounced it), is one of the greatest quotes of all time. It can be used in so many ways. But the fact that it’s essentially being used as a euphemism for masturbation, is hysterical. I can’t take any of the credit for it, but I have heard Bill Simmons use it a few times and I thought it was incredible.

2.  For the last 2 years, I had to deal with all these ignorant Knicks fans talk about how LeBron is coming to New York and he’s going to save the franchise. And whenever I questioned them and challenged them on the subject, the answer was the same every single time….”Who wouldn’t want to play in New York?”. Well, how about LeBron James? LeBron just suffered through 7 seasons of terrible coaches/incompetent management. Why the hell would he want to go to that exact same situation again? Miami re-signed the best shooting guard in the league and the top big man on the market. LeBron’s best teammate in the last 7 years? A tail end of his career Antwan Jamison.  Nuff said. I think Pat Riley did a great job getting a supporting cast for his 3 headed monster. Mike Miller is one of the best 3 point shooters in the league, and can also grab some rebounds. The guy will have a lot of great looks this year. Udonis Haslem is a more than serviceable big man to help out Chris Bosh Down low. Zydrunas Ilgauskas signed a few days ago and is a very good option to back up Bosh and Haslem. Plus, he’s played with James for the last 7 years in Cleveland. Sorry Knicks fans, but you put all of your eggs in one basket (congrats on your $100 million/5 year deal (all guaranteed) you gave to Amare Stoudemire), and got burned. I hate to say it, but Suck It. You all asked for it.

3.  I really believe that LeBron thinks that maybe he’s more suited to be more like Magic than Michael. Sure, we’ve heard over the years that LeBron cares so much about his “legacy” in the NBA. I agree that he probably thinks about it a lot. But the only guys in NBA history that have a legacy, have championship rings. He keeps getting killed for being a “coward”, and  for taking the “easy way out” and going to Wade’s team. But at the end of the day, if he has 2 or 3 titles in the next 6 years, who cares? LeBron is easily the best passer of anyone in the league that’s over 6’6″. He runs the floor like no one in the NBA ever has. His ability to get out in transition is mind-boggling. I’d be willing to bet that LeBron puts up numbers in the neighborhood of 22-25 points per game, 10-12 rebounds per game and 10-12 assists per game. No one has sniffed averaging a triple double for an entire season since Oscar Robertson back in the 1960’s.

I really like LeBron the distributor, more than LeBron the go-to guy. I’m sure in crunch time, LeBron will get his fair share of last second shots, but he now has other options. He doesn’t need to shoulder the load 82 straight games + playoffs. Mentally, I figure this would help his game.

4.  I’m a big fan of LeBron’s “Bad Guy” image.  He is now the ultimate villain and I love it.  There’s nothing worse than a hometown hero, going on national television and telling the fans, “Eff You”.  That was one of the most crushing things I have ever seen happen to a city/fan base.  Is it all LeBron’s fault that it didn’t work out in Cleveland?  No.  Is some of it his fault?  Maybe.  But the bottom line is, he wanted to go to the place where he thinks he has the best chance to win.

Honestly, I was never a big LeBron fan to begin with.  All the hype that surrounded him before he was drafted made me sick.  All the entitlement, comparisons to Jordan, and the fact that he looked like he was 25 when he was in high school, really irritated me.  I still didn’t like him on July 7th.  But on July 8th, around 9:10 pm, I said to myself, ” I like this guy”.