Our buddies over at The Daily Stache created a meme that went viral Monday night, but @MetsKevin11 didn’t get credit for it because he forgot to watermark it. Don’t worry brah, I got you.
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If you follow me on twitter (which isn’t likely since I only have 164 followers even though my articles have over 50,000 views), you know I publicly defended the replacement refs up until Monday night. I said they were nervous Week 1. They were getting over the nerves Week 2. They weren’t that bad Week 3, until Monday Night Football’s complete abomination of a football game. After the intertouchdownception, the replacement refs had to go. Thank GOD the NFL came to their senses and ironed out a deal Wednesday night. By Thursday night, we could see Ed Hoculi flexing his guns on national TV again.
But what happens to the replacement refs now that the old refs are coming back? I don’t know much about them, and I don’t care to look up their actual histories, but I want to say goodbye to them all as I will remember them:
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Happy Trails, Clint Eastwood Ref
After a life of smoking Marlboro reds and chewing Skoal, this old man strapped on the stripes and gave being an NFL referee his best shot. Whatever you do in the future, keep looking like a badass, old man.
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Farewell, Couch Potato Ref
This guy literally looks like he got up off the couch, wandered into the stadium, found a referee outfit in the locker room and walked out onto the field. He was actually one of the better replacement refs in my opinion, and should have a great future refereeing at the Pearl River Middle School games.
So long, Pizza Delivery Boy Ref
The faded acne scars. The strong bicep from carrying things. It’s clear this guy was a pizza delivery boy before he made it to the NFL as a replacement ref. Don’t be too sad for this guy, I saw a commercial where the president of Dominos said they’re improving delivery cars, maybe even changing to delivery tanks!
Goodbye, Actual Foot Locker Employee Ref
OK OK, I know the joke has been used more times than TJ Lang’s post-game commentary has been re-tweeted, but this guy looks like he actually works at Foot Locker. How old is this guy? 16? Both of his biceps combined don’t come close to one of Ed Hoculi’s. I just hope the store he left at the Palisades Mall takes him back.
Later, Billie Jean King Ref
Shannon Eastin (actual name) became the first female referee in the NFL when she took the field this season. That’s an accomplishment. I don’t have any jokes about this barrier breaker.
Don’t do it, Suicidal Ref
I don’t think I’ve seen a more dejected look on an officials face since Jim Joyce blew the call on Armando Galarraga’s near-perfect game. Look at this guy! Losing this replacement ref gig might be the last straw. Don’t do it, man! You’ve got so much to live for!
all back stories and comments made about the officials in this post are completely fictitious and meant to be taken lightly, not literally. except for the female ref. that part’s real.
