The Home Run Derby And Calm Down Yankees Fans

Dude, bro, and also man!

I got hooked up with free tickets to the home run derby at Citi Field this past Monday night.  Well, someone paid for the tickets but it wasn’t me.  Anyway,  I sat through the ball sweat inducing heat to watch the entire event which turned out to be a lot more fun than I had anticipated.  It could have been a bit shorter as I could have done without seeing Pitbull perform awful music or a bunch of a dogs catching frisbees for no reason.  I did however, enjoy watching people hit home runs out of a stadium that normally isn’t known for home runs.  Most impressive were the top two sluggers of the night, Yoenis Cespedes and Bryce Harper.

Cespedes hit balls so far that if the derby took place at Shea Stadium, several people would have souvenirs smash through their windshield. Harper not only impressed me with his home runs but I also developed some respect for him. Why does watching someone hit home runs off of their father cause me to respect them? I don’t know, but war no more Harper. I used to hate the guy and even though he looks like a member of Biff Tannen’s grandson’s gang from Back to the Future II I can appreciate his skills and douchiness.  Baseball needs more of that.

That’s a clown helmet, bro!

Also a weird feeling I got while watching Harper the other night, I think at some point in his career he will play in New York.   Probably for the Mets since by the time he is a free agent or the Nationals are ready to deal him, the Mets will be good and the Yankees will not.  He seems like he’d thrive in New York and Mets ace Matt Harvey clearly is a fan based on his tweets during the derby.

!!!!!

Speaking of the Yankees….they had a bizarre showing at the all star game.  First Matt Harvey (who was lovely btw) hit Robinson Cano in the knee with a pitch and Cano was forced to leave the game in the first inning.   This led to much outrage in Yankee land and their fanbase stormed twitter and called for swift revenge on Harvey or his teammate David Wright. Of course only the silliest of people would think that Matt Harvey’s main goal in the all star game was to injure the Yankees best player.  Speaking of silly, later in the game a fan ran on the field and of course he was wearing a Robinson Cano jersey.  This prompted me to tweet…

“A Yankees fan ran on the field, I assume he was going to get revenge for Cano by screaming “27 rings!” at David Wright. #ASG”

This got a bunch of retweets as well as backlash from one Yankees fan (With a whopping 4 followers btw) who responded to me by saying “Said the jealous Mets fan.”

Ok, time to break this down. Yankees fans, we get it the Mets have mostly been a joke. You have had a far better history than we will ever have, however using “27 rings!” as an argument makes you sound like a complete moron. First of all the Yankees have existed since 1913 (Really 1901 but they had different names) so they had a forty nine year head start on the Mets, they better have more championships. Secondly, since the Mets have come into existence the Yankees have won a mere eight of the their twenty-seven championships during that time and really the one in 1962 I shouldn’t even count because the Mets were barely a team at that point.  So stop with the “27 rings!” nonsense, no one is jealous of your team.

27 rings on my 27 fingers!

More On the Yankees:  The time is finally coming where Brian Cashman will be outed as a shitty GM.  Other than Robinson Cano he has developed zero prospects in the last decade and the one time he tried to let kids play in 2008 (Hughes and Kennedy) it was a complete disaster. He has been able to cover up his mistakes by having the biggest budget in the history of baseball year in and year out.  Smart Yankee fans (All of 5 of them….I kid!) will realize that Cashman has had the number one payroll in baseball for now thirteen straight years and produced exactly one world title.  He gets unjustly credited with the championships from 1998-2000 but let’s be real, those weren’t his teams. Gene Michael and Bob Watson built those teams and Cashman got all the credit. Sure he made some cosmetic changes each season but since he has had an opportunity to mold the roster year in and year out (Starting around 2002) the Yankees have had just one championship and lots of disastrous postseason appearances.  Now it’s 2013 and the Steinbrenner’s have started closing up their pockets so we can see just how bad of a general manager Cashman is, just look at this seasons roster.  But hey, 27 rings yo!

What’s a prospect?

Mo:  Mariano Rivera won the MVP award for the all star game which was a nice but confusing gesture.  Rivera is retiring at the end of the season so obviously this is his final all star game but giving him the MVP award when all he did was pitch a scoreless eighth inning (That’s right not even the ninth inning!) makes no sense.  I understand there was no clear cut MVP in what was a boring all star game but giving it to Rivera is just lazy and overkill.  I respect Rivera and the career he’s had but I’m sick of people saying “Even though you hate him, you gotta respect him.”  I don’t hate him and do respect him just stop shoving the guy down my throat.  What next, we give him the regular season MVP and Cy Young awards right now as a tribute? GTFO.

He doesn’t put anyone to sleep. The song makes no sense for him!

That’s all for now, if you’re anywhere near Hartford, CT I will be at City Steam performing something similar to stand up comedy Friday night at 8 and Saturday night at 7 and 10pm.