Game of Thrones Season 4 Episode 1 “Two Swords” Recap And GIFs

Since the end of True Detective, I’ve been waiting for the the season 4 premiere of Game of Thrones and here it was. The episode seemed like a strange dichotomy of multiple feels. It was a basking of glory and celebration for the Lannisters….for their win over Stannis Baratheon at the Battle of Blackwater, their slaughter of the most of the Starks at the Red Wedding, and the up coming wedding of King Joffrey. Meanwhile, most of the Starks were grieving their losses. However, there was something strange about both situations. Even though the Lannisters were reveling in their victory, there was a feeling of uneasiness. Meanwhile, while the Starks were mourning, they all seemed to have a feeling of defiance towards authority and/or the people that have wronged them. Meanwhile, Daenerys Targaryen is doing the same thing she did last season. Watching her dragon babies grow up and walking around with her army of slave soldiers looking for cities on their continent to bow down to her cause because this needs to be dragged out as long as possible. 

It’s party city in King’s Landing. They are getting ready pop collars for Joffrey’s wedding to Margaery Tyrell and they are still reaping the benefits of beating Stannis and massacring the Starks. The episode pops off with Tywin taking Ned Stark’s old sword made of Valyrian steel, melts it down, and makes two brand new swords out of it. One of them is for his favorite son, Jamie, who really needs a hand with training to be a left handed swordsman now. You can tell that he’s having trouble adjusting to not be completely whole now and though Tywin gifted him one of the Valyrian steel swords, you can tell that he is embarrassed of all his children. Tywin admits as much when he flat out tells Jamie that he shouldn’t be in King’s landing and that he can’t be in the King’s guard. Jamie is not having it though. Cersei cops Jamie a fancy gold right hand for the one that he’s missing. Awwwwwww, how sweet! And doesn’t Jamie look so cute with it?

Awwwwwwwwwww. Jamie, on the other hand (lol, I’m going to use these jokes all the time), is not getting any sisterly love from Cersei who is deluded herself into thinking that Jamie didn’t come back to her in time. I mean, he was only taken prisoner and lost his hand. No big deal. Jamie also meets up with his son/nephew, King Joffrey, who is becoming more of an insufferable jerk after every episode. It’s great and he’s a dick to his pops/uncle in a scene as well. Meanwhile, Tyrion is tasked with menial duties like receiving guests of the wedding like Prince Oberyn. Prince Oberyn is a bisexual badass with a chinstrap beard (so basically, he belongs in the 1990’s) that has a score to settle with the Lannisters. This is going to get good. Also, Tyrion has to deal with his new wife, Sansa Stark, being all moody because, you know, her family was slaughtered and the fact that his side chick is losing her shit. Meanwhile, Brienne is still giving Jamie grief (like the rest of his family) just because she’s Brienne and she has honor or something like that.

I feel like this could be a Jamie Lannister pick up line. Honestly, we could talk about Margaery Tyrell but I could care less about her right now. Her character isn’t developed. Her mom is hilarious though. She needs to be in more scenes somehow.

Danny Targaryen’s character seems to be in stasis right now. Yeah, her dragons are getting bigger but other than that, has anything changed? No. She’s still telling people what to do, she’s still walking around that damn continent, and she’s still trying to cross the ocean to mount her assault on the Iron Throne.

Meanwhile, the Starks are reeling but they are also slowly piecing their lives back together. Jon Snow has to answer to a council of Crows. There are some members of the Crow council who are jerks and don’t believe him but there’s one dude in their midst who actually isn’t a complete bumbling buffoon and is cool with letting Jon Snow off the hook even though he’s become incredibly defiant in the face his elders/leaders. However, the most awesome scene belonged to the Hound and Arya Stark. Arya complains the whole episode about having her own horse when they stumble upon a tavern that has been overtaken by Lannister soliders. One of the soliders had given Arya a tough time in Season 3 and stole her sword, Needle, from her. The Hound goes right up in there, is an asshole to the soldier that Arya has beef with, talks about how bad he wants chicken (doesn’t everyone?), and then starts a rumble with everyone in the tavern. Arya gets a little gangster herself and offs a couple of the Lannister soldiers. Scene ends with her finally getting her own horse and the Hound getting some chicken. A single, solitary tear fell from my eye.

I’m hoping in the next episode we get to see what Bran, Stannis, and the red headed witch are up to. I’m also hoping for some more Tyrion, Jamie and Brienne, and Arya and the Hound as well as some more stuff about Prince Oberyn. He’s been the best example of a pimped out gangster that  I’ve seen on this show yet. I could care less about what’s up with Danny Targaryen unless story line starts progressing.

Observations/Tumblrs/Tweets:

– You noticed how they switched the actor that plays Daario, the guy that Danny’s traveling crew picked up at the end of last season? That bugged me out for half of the episode.

– The Wildlings scene was meh to me. Yeah, it was revealed that that some of the wildlings are crazy cannibals but still…..meh.

– I love the internet for how they make fun of Sir Jorrah’s unrequited love for Danny:

– Honestly, I completely am on the Hound’s side when it comes to chicken. I love chicken. It’s awesomeness. This part of the blog is a tribute to the Hound’s need for chicken:

and

I’m sooooo with you on this, man. I’m completely with you.