Why is James White In the Dunk Contest? Because He’s the Best Dunker That You Have Never Heard Of.

We know about most of the participants in this year’s dunk contest. Just kidding. In the past few years, the dunk contest has been filled with up and comers and bench warmers. So allow me to reintroduce themselves. Jeremy Evans is that nobody that won last year. I don’t think too many people even remember that he won last year. Go ahead. Ask one of your boys who won the NBA dunk contest last year? I’m sure there was a pause, right? There’s the young upstart from the Clippers going by the name of Eric Bledsoe…or as I like to call him: Westbrook lite. The man is a tank with springs. He’s a contender. We got the 2007 champ in the bulding as well: Gerald Green. I mean this dude has me questioning whether Anakin and Senator Amidala had triplets instead of twins. Like Obi Wan could have been like “Hey, we can send one of these kids back in time. Vader will never find him there.” However, instead of being someone that could potentially make the world a better place, the dude is all “Naw, bro. I just want to be a lazy ass NBA player, that squanders his potential and instead I want to woo chicks with my high flying dunks and isht.” If someone said that was Gerald Green, you could totally buy it, right? Indubitably because when this guy flies for dunks, it looks like he’s floating. It’s supernatural. There’s also Kenneth Faried and Terrance Ross and even though they can put it down…do we really think they have a chance in hell in winning? Nope. Then we have James White.

“Who?” Ah, my peoples. Allow me to enlighten you to the best dunker that you probably never heard of. 

James “Flight” White is a backup swing man on your New York Knicks. Now, calling him a backup would be putting it nicely. To put it more accurately, he’s the backup to the backup. He’s played in 34 of the Knicks’ 48 games and he averages a shade under 7 minutes per game and scores less than a field goal per game. White is 30 years old and he’s only played 3 seasons in the NBA and before this season, he’s been 3 years removed from the best basketball league in the world while playing in the D-League and overseas. When we’re talking about James White the basketball player, we compare him to the likes of Scalabrines and Darkos who coaches put in at the end of blowouts and the crowd roots for them to do something that they can cheer for.However, God didn’t put him on earth to merely play basketball. No, no, no, no, no. He was put on earth to flush it down in the most imaginative, glorious, and majestic ways possible. When we’re talking about James White the dunker, he probably should be mentioned in the same breath as Jordan, ‘Nique, and Vinsanity.

What’chu talking about, Willis?

I kid you not.

This dunk contest is for some league in Turkey in 2008. His first dunk is a simple one hander from the free throw line. Whoa. That’s his first dunk? Meanwhile, he’s like “You haven’t seen anything yet.” The second dunk? Two  hand jam from the free throw line. He jumped from the free throw line again? For his next act, he pulls of a tomahawk from the charity stripe! Well, he jumps a good two feet before the free throw line. Yes, R. Kelly wrote a prophecy foretelling his coming for the Space Jam soundtrack. He can’t even believe it himself at this point. He throws the ball off his face because he’s so incredulous. It’s like he feels the ball will restore some sanity Also, at the 3:58 mark, look at the visible “u mad?!” face on his competitor’s (Patrick Chaney) face. Hee. Larious. His encore is only a through the leg dunk from the free throw line. No big deal. I have no idea how you can be impressed by that. Ugh. Do better, man. Do better.

There are other videos of this guy’s exploits on Youtube. Check them out and prepare to be amazed on Saturday night when he puts on a show for us at the NBA Dunk Contest.