The Milwaukee Brewers announced that they will be adding something called the “Selig Experience” to Miller Park. It will be a museum dedicated to recently retired baseball commissioner Bud Selig. It sounds like the worst thing anyone could ever possibly imagine. So before it opens and gets covered in eggs and graffiti lets take a virtual (Fake) look at what might be inside.
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Hey, remember me?
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First up it’s the Fay Vincent Wing which is filled with sad looking pictures of the man who held the position of baseball commissioner before Bud and some of his cronies aggressively ousted him from the job.
Next there’s an entire wing dedicated to the canceled season of 1994, filled with blank scorecards and blank programs from the 1994 World Series.
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In a side room next to the 1994 wing you will find a coffin that each week will showcase a different member of the Montreal Expos.
How do you say “Selig Sucks!” in French?
Next up it’s the Late 90’s Wing which has lots of used steroid syringes on display as well as paintings of freakishly muscular looking Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa hitting home runs and flexing. There is also a poster of Bud Selig smiling and giving a thumbs up in front of a player who is taking steroids.
After that it’s a very special wing of the museum dedicated to the All-Star game that ended in a tie. There you will find a video of Bud’s infamous shrug playing on loop for the fans amusement.
We’re coming towards the end fans so hold on to hats….
Next we have the Steroid Witch Hunt Wing where an actor dressed as Bud Selig runs around accusing patrons of taking steroids. There is also a poster of Bud Selig giving a thumbs down and frowning next to a player taking steroids. Here you will also find videos of Rafael Palmeiro waving his finger at congress playing on loop.
After that there is a plague commemorating the invention of the 1 game Wild Card playoff. Also in this area for an extra two dollars you can throw garbage at an umpire while wearing an Atlanta Braves hat. The best part is that you get to keep the hat!
Finally we come to the end of our tour and we see a giant statue of Bud Selig standing on top of a defeated A-Rod, A-Rod’s head has been sculpted onto a dragons body for dramatic effect. This is of course the big finish which includes a mini/dangerous fireworks show and a performance by the Bud Selig dancers.
Don’t forget to buy a “I Stand With the Wilpons” t-shirt when you visit the gift shop and have a nice day!
Round 8, FIGHT!
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