It has been made abundantly clear here and on Twitter, that I think the NBA is the worst product of the four major sports. But that doesn’t stop me from knowing what’s going on in the NBA. A prime example is that I know if you lined up all 360 NBA players, James Harden would be way down the list of players who “look like” an NBA All-Star. I also know that James Harden’s post game threads are just out of this world.
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Harden has the uncanny ability to pull off the “black guy hipster” look. There are so many guys in the NBA trying too hard to pull this off and it just doesn’t work. But for James Harden, it does.
After seeing the outfit he wore during the Game 2 post-game presser after the Houston Rockets lost to the Oklahoma City Thunder, I knew it was time. We need a James Harden “Swag-o-Meter” for playoff post-game pressers.
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One Harden – Any combination of a piss poor effort, no creativity, trying WAY too hard, not matching in any way, just down right awful.
Two Hardens – Pretty meh. Lacking effort, skating by, looking weird just to fit in.
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Three Hardens – Has it workin’. Accessorizin’, stylin’, and profilin’.
Four Hardens – Give this guy a towel, he’s got swag drippin’ off his forehead.
Five Hardens – HOLY SHIT! HE’S WEARING THAT AND IT’S BAWSS!
LeBron James Game 1 vs Milwaukee Bucks
We have already voiced our opinion on this shit. It’s just disgusting. How does the best player and the guy with the most street cred in the NBA roll out with this on? LBJ, you are your own style. You are a global icon. Act like it. Sweet suits and shirts are your style, not a 1960′s sofa.
Russell Westbrook Game 1 vs Houston Rockets
I’m beyond tired of Westbrook and his look. It’s awful. You can’t be a tough guy who wants to act all hard on the court and then come out rockin’ the clear rimmed glasses with the cutoff hoodie and gold chain. Look at the damn threads hanging off his left sleeve. Don’t tell me that’s part of the style. That makes it look even more tacky. It hasn’t worked for you since you’ve come in the NBA. It’s embarrassing. STOP.
J.R. Smith game 2 vs Boston Celtics
Here’s an outfit that fits the player’s personality. Granted, it’s an awful look. But JR Smith fits into what he’s wearing. He’s a guy who’s basically like the cool drunk uncle everyone has. The kids love him, but the adults hate him. You are unable to see from this picture but JR Smith is also wearing baggy leather pants and sneakers. For a guy who’s dressing like he stole the clothes off of a bum at the Port Authority Bus Terminal, it surprisingly works. I bet the outfit cost $5,000, but you would only guess that if you knew he was an NBA player.
Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant Game 2 vs Houston Rockets
Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant Game 2 vs Houston Rockets
These two may be Batman and Robin on the court, but in the fashion world they are Dumb and Dumber. That’s not a leather jacket Westbrook is wearing, it’s a button-up leather shirt. Yes, a leather shirt. Who the F thinks a leather shirt is cool? Westbrook looks like he stole that shirt off the set of Michael Jackson’s “Bad” music video. Again with the glasses. No one is mistaking you for a nerd Russ. Same for you KD. When you are a 6-10 black dude, no one’s first thought is going to be “I bet that dude works at NASA”. I appreciate the hoodie but why the hell are you wearing a hoodie shirt? Each gets one Harden a piece.
Dwight Howard Game 2 vs San Antonio Spurs
Pretty standard Dwight Howard attire these days. The bow tie is just not cool. Bruce Bowen is a dork and it fits. Dwight Howard is supposed to be Superman. Superman may wear the black rimmed glasses in press conferences, but he sure as hell doesn’t wear bowties. C’mon Dwight. Step yo’ swag up.
James Harden game 2 vs Oklahoma City Thunder
This is what all post-game presser outfits have to live up to. I mean the guy rocks a tight faded jean button up shirt and a vest. LOL. It’s so bad that it’s so incredibly good. To boot, the dude is rocking an Abraham Lincoln beard/faded mohawk combo. For this column’s sake, the Houston Rockets better stretch this series to the limit. We need more of this.