Guys! Game of Thrones is back! I was seriously going through some major withdrawal but thankfully, HBO was like “Nah, we got you” so now I’m fine. Is it time for a recap of the season premiere? Yep. 

The episode opens up with a Cersei flashback scene where she and a random meet with a witch so she can find out her future. The witch’s prophecies were pretty spot on but the most interesting one was one that hasn’t happened yet. That another woman would cast her down from being queen. One that is younger and more beautiful. I feel like at the present moment during the series, Cersei feels that the woman that will push her aside is Margaery from how she keeps a close eye on her. However, I feel like the woman that the prophecy is talking about is actually Danny Targaryen. D’uh. Anyways, Cersei’s paranoia is rampant….especially after Tyrion got away with killing their father. She really laid the guilt trip thick on Jamie and, really, she does have a point.


LOL is Tyrion at Coachella?

Speaking of Tyrion, he has traveled to another continent inside of a box thanks to Varys. He seems to be going through some issues and has taken up alcoholism. Varys plays the role of guidance counselor during Tyrion’s drinking binge and gives him a pretty crucial piece of advice: that he should think about being Danny Targaryen’s right hand man. Tyrion looks a little intrigued by this and I’m going to assume we’re going to get 3-5 episodes of Tyriona and Varys traveling to see Danny. Anyone else getting a little tired of Game of Thrones doing this? Game of Thrones has gone full anime.

While we’re on the subject of Danny, she’s having some issues as Queen. First of all, someone is killing the Unsullied in brothels. Honestly, I think the real problem here is the fact that the Unsullied are going to brothels JUST to cuddle. Not only that but they seem to be perfectly fine with being the little spoon! Danny’s not to happy with the fact that her foot soldiers are getting killed one by one. Also, some of the nobles have beef with her for closing down the fighting pits that they used to have. She’s also having second thoughts about chaining up her dragons. The dragons aren’t babies anymore though and they clearly have beef with Danny for locking them up. It really looks like she could use a pretty good right hand man right now.


Meanwhile in Castle Rock, Melisandre is really putting the moves on Jon Snow. However, it seems like Jon Snow is either oblivious or confused….probably both. Jon finally meets up with Stannis who reveals his plans of killing Mance Rayder unless he kneels before him. Jon decides to talk to Mance but he’s not having any of it. So Stannis decides to burn him at the stake. Jon Snow has become one hell of a rebel lately because he grabs a bone & arrow and puts Mance out of his misery. Stannis clearly won’t be happy about that.

We didn’t get anything about Arrya Stark and we barely got anything about the Sansa/Littlefinger combo but here’s to hoping we get some more of the remaining Starks (there is supposedly no Bran Stark appearances at all this season) in the next episode.