Even though Linsanity has been exciting, the New York Knicks’ season so far has been entirely a disappointment. After the signing of Tyson Chandler, most people expected the Knicks to be much better than one game under .500 but here we are at the halfway point with the Knicks sitting in the 7th spot in the Eastern Conference. Considering the talent on the roster, that is not good enough and the grades that I am about to dish out will reflect that. Let’s open up the gradebook:

Carmelo Anthony

He was supposed to be the cornerstone of the franchise but he’s been playing like he’d rather be on the corner getting stoned. The Knicks gave up half their roster last year for this? This has easily been Melo’s worst season since entering the NBA so far. Career lows across the board. Also, he stalls the offense with his isolations in the half court set. And it also looks like the fans are starting to turn on him. This isn’t looking pretty.

Grade: D

Mike Bibby

I didn’t know corpses could pick up paychecks. He was signed to play backup PG and to spread the floor with his 3 point shooting ability but has done neither. If there were an NBA award for player most likely to be on chemotherapy, Bibby would probably win every year.

Grade: F

Tyson Chandler

He has been the best player on the team by far. Tyson’s been a top 3 defensive big man in the NBA. Whenever he comes out of the game, teams start attacking the paint. As soon as Jeremy Lin was thrust into the starting role, he thanked whatever deity he prays to for sending someone who can throw a decent lob pass. Because of his beard, my mom asked me if he was Muslim. I told her that he wasn’t but he’s still her favorite player along with Jeremy Lin. He gets props for that.

Grade: A

Baron Davis

Baron has taken Raymond Felton’s place as fat point guard on the team. He has only played 3 games because of a bulging disk in his back…but I think it’s just an excuse for him to get as many Happy Endings as possible (would you doubt this happened in the Garden at all considering the Marbury/Isiah fiasco from a few years back? I wouldn’t). His biggest highlight of the year was a behind the back pass from his knees to Jared Jeffries….in a blowout.

Grade: Incomplete

Toney Douglas

Dougie was the starting point guard to start the season until the point everyone realized that he wasn’t a point guard. He also has regressed from a defensive stalwart to an El Matador this year. So he can’t shoot, can’t play defense, and can’t run the point? In other words, he sucks? Thanks for playing.

Grade: F

Landry Fields

He was alright to start the season but has been completely revitalized since Lin has been given significant minutes. Landry has been playing solid defense, rebounding, passing extremely well, and playing solid on the offensive end. If only he could shoot the rock from long distance a tad better.

Grade: B-

Josh Harrellson

He was the Knicks’ second round pick but he was better than I thought. When I saw him in college, I didn’t know he could shoot 3s like he has in the pros. He has also rebounded extremely well and was the best screener on the team in my opinion. It’s really too bad he got hurt because when he does come back, he might not see the floor again.

Grade: C+

Jared Jeffries

I’ll admit that I was wrong about Jared Jeffries after last year. He’s a much better player when he only has to play 20 minutes per game…and during those 20 minutes, he provides energy, stellar defense, and solid rebounding. If only he was worth a shit on the offensive end. Also, he’s made over 37 million dollars over the course of his career…you’d think he could afford braces for his teeth or something!

Grade: B

Jerome Jordan

He’s some 7 foot guy on our bench. He played a few times. He doesn’t really do anything other than stand out there and be big.

Grade: Incomplete

Jeremy Lin

He has singlehandedly saved the Knicks from the brink of irrelevancy. His pick and roll skills, aggressiveness, energy, and team first mentality and injected life into the team. Sure, he has his warts (turnovers and his stubbornness during the Heat game). However, I don’t remember the last time I saw the team actually giving a fuck about each other and hugging each other sincerely before the experiLint. The Knicks actually look like a team now and I have Lin to thank for that.

Grade: A-

Steve Novak

Novak has been amazing as a back up big and the best 3 point shooter on the Knicks. I wish he could play better defense but he is what he is: a big white guy that shoots threes and spaces the court. Kudos to Novak.

Grade: B

Iman Shumpert

When the Knicks realized that Dougie wasn’t a PG, they thrust Iman in to the role. Then we all realized that he wasn’t a starting point guard either. However, he does play the best one on one defense on the team and he’s an aggressive driver to the basket.

Grade: B-

J.R. Smith

I loved this signing by Glen Grunwald. He is probably the most athletic swingman on our team and he instantly becomes one of the best three-point shooters on the team as well. I thought he’d be a defensive liability but he’s shown a willingness to get up in people’s grills in the 4 games that he’s played. He’s also filled the Knicks quota of neck tattoos on the team. Also, I can’t wait for his sister to start a fight with someone at Madison Square Garden.

Grade: (I refuse to give him an incomplete. I love his game already)

Amare Stoudemire

His season hasn’t been as sub par as Melo’s because he has a couple of excuses (bad spacing in offensive sets, he’s getting the ball further away from the basket, injuries, his brother dying) but it’s still been disappointing. Watching him play, I feel like the NBA season is actually Amare’s allergy season because he always seems to have an aversion for rebounds. He still doesn’t play any defense. When you add it all up, he has had a horrible season all around this year.

Grade: C-

Bill Walker

The best way to describe Bill Walker is to compare him to Paris Hilton in her prime. Neither has ever seen a shot that they didn’t take. He has had a couple of good games but overall, he’s been awfully inefficient and his shot hasn’t been falling like it did last year.

Grade: D