After a grueling seven game series that included Lebron James dragging the half dead corpses of Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh around, the Miami Heat defeated the Indiana Pacers to move on to the NBA finals. Yay parity! I honestly couldn’t give two shits about either team, but I guess gun to my head I was sort of rooting for the Pacers. Herein lies the reason why I have grown to hate the NBA, because it’s just not a fun league. It’s dominated by moronic and corrupt referees who think the fans show up to see them blow the whistle every five seconds. Also the league is no longer about rooting for your favorite team it’s about rooting against the best team in the league. This has been the case for years, in the 90′s it was cool to hate the Bulls and at various times over the years the team to hate was either the Lakers or the Celtics. Now you’re either a fan of the Heat (most of their fans seem to not live anywhere near Florida though) or you’re ultimately rooting against the Heat, which has been the case ever since Lebron aired his award winning documentary “The Decision”. Maybe I’m just a bitter a Knicks fan but probably not since I only barely care about Knicks and literally shrugged when they were pathetically eliminated by the Pacers in the second round.
There’s always next year but probably not.
The Mets pulled off a rare feat last week, for the first time in the history of interleague play they swept the series from the Yankees. Granted this is a watered down Yankees team but you know what, the Mets suck too. Speaking of the Mets sucking, they followed up their epic sweep by getting swept by the worst team in baseball. I partially blame the sweep on the fact that the Mets always seem to get their ass kicked when they play dress up. They did that twice last year, once they went to Houston dressed as cowboys and got swept by the Astros who were the worst team in baseball and when they went to Toronto they dressed like hockey players and preceded to lose two out of three while barely escaping with a 6-5 win in the final game of the series. So my advice to the Mets is to stop playing dress up! If I was on a team and another team flew into my city dressed up like a stereotypical member of the local community I would think they were the biggest douchebags on the planet and would make sure to step up my game against them.
I’m the sheriff of Shitsville.
In other baseball news, the BioGenesis scandal has gone to new heights as the MLB Department of Ethics or whatever they are called have announced that they are pushing for suspensions of players who are tied to the company. While actual suspensions are unlikely, Ryan Braun is currently trying to get herpes again so that he has an alibi. Listen baseball we get it, steroids are bad but constantly bringing up the subject and attacking your own players doesn’t exactly make you look like a well oiled machine. Everyone knows A-Rod is a horrible human being and finding out for the fourteenth time that he’s used PED’s just doesn’t have the same LOL factor as it once did. The most hilarious part of this story is that Joe Torre works for the commissioner’s office and he basically managed a team of roid heads to World Series back in 2000 and now all of a sudden is Mr. Decency. Fuck off dude.
Buy my book a.k.a “Why A-Rod Sucks”
Finally, the MLB draft is this week. I’m not going to pretend to know who the Mets or anyone else is going to take but I look forward to seeing dozens of people on twitter either pretend to be outraged or excited by whoever they draft. Whoever it is I plan on not really giving a shit about them until at least 2016. In the baseball draft you can get a star in the first round or the ninety eighth round, unlike the other sports there is really no rhyme or reason and if you find yourself angry with a teams draft pick just think of Mike Piazza who was drafted in the sixty second round and only as a favor to Tommy Lasorda. He turned out OK, right? Right!?
Take Piazza, leave the cannoli.
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Joe Pontillo: Rainbow Chaser
