The first half of the of the major league baseball season has ended and the all star break has commenced. The Mets find themselves 41-50 and 11 games out of first place. If you read my preseason post (http://www.totalsportsblog.com/2013/03/the-2013-nlol-east/#more-8451) you would see what record I predicted for them, laughed at me, and stole my wallet. Also if you just looked at their record you would assume that they’re fucking terrible but this is not the case. After an OK start the Mets played hideous baseball from the end of April until the middle of June. The only highlight during that time was a four game sweep of the Yankees (LOLZ). But after a brutal stretch which ended with lots of players being hilariously demoted the Mets have actually played a solid month of baseball to the tune of a 17-11 record in their last 28 games.
THE GRADES!
David Wright – A + I want to hate this guy I really do but he’s just so damn good. If only he had like three more legitimate players around him in the lineup.
Matt Harvey – A + Could have did without seeing him naked but the guy is a freak of nature, going to be the ace of this staff for a long time.
Bobby Parnell – A Has all of a sudden developed the closer’s mentality or he realized he has really good stuff and decided to stop being a pussy.
Marlon Byrd – A- Quite possibly the signing of the year. The guy gets so many big hits and hustles for a fat guy,
Josh Satin – A- Just look into his eyebrows to find the meaning of life.
Eric Young – A- An actual leadoff guy has made the offense fun to watch again…mostly.
Jeremy Hefner- B + Who knew this guy was going to be any good?
Dillon Gee – B + After a rocky start he’s become the 2nd or 3rd best pitcher on this staff depending on his facial hair.
Carlos Torres – B+ I keep expecting this guy to get rocked but he refuses to. Awesome pick up.
Latroy Hawkins – B + He’s like 50 but he went over a month without giving up a run.
Daniel Murphy – B Has shown he’s not an everyday player but still gets enough big hits to prove he’s not completely useless.
Zack Wheeler – B He’s made 5 starts and no two have been alike. He seems unhittable, he just needs to remember where the strike zone is more consistently.
David Aardsma – B A very nice pick up who Collins is slowly overworking.
Omar Quintanilla – B – Has been terrible everywhere except with the Mets, probably not going to keep it up much longer.
Anthony Recker – B- The chicks and pitchers dig him and he has enough power to cover up the fact that he’ll never sniff a .200 batting average.
Andrew Brown- B- Looks intense and has gotten some big hits off the bench.
John Buck – C+ As awful as he has been at times he already has more home runs and RBI’s this season than Josh Thole will have in his entire career.
Josh Edgin- C+ Has been pretty good since coming back from the minors largely because Collins finally stopped using him every fucking day.
Scott Rice – C+ Was great for a while, then awful for a while, now I’m not even sure if he’s still on the team. Another guy Collins is trying to kill.
Greg Burke – C+ Had a great month, aside from that he has been mediocre.
Lucas Duda – C + Better than last year….sort of. Now he’s injured, I don’t know what to think about him.
Juan Lagares- C+ Has looked overmatched at times but his bat has improved slightly. His glove is pretty sexy as well.
Kirk Nieuwenhuis- C Has gotten some big hits and seems to strike out less but I need to see him play more legitimately before deeming him a real player.
Scott Atchison – C- The old age jokes never get old, but seriously the guy was at the last supper. His stats would look better if Terry wasn’t trying to kill him.
Shaun Marcum- D + He was 1-10 but really deserved to be like 3-7. Was bad/injured/didn’t get enough run support. Shit happens.
Justin Turner – D+ Hits players with pies and doesn’t do much else. But at least he tweets positive things after the game!
Brandon Lyon- D Kind of shocked at how bad this guy was. I partially blame Terry for never really giving him a set inning to pitch in.
Ruben Tejada- D I’m confident he’ll bounce back but I’m also confident that he hates the manager.
Jordany Valdespin- D- I still say he never really got a fair shot but you’re not going to make many friends taking selfies, showboating, and calling your manager a c*cksucker.
Ike Davis- F Just go away.
I gotta stop drinking.
Terry Collins – D A month ago this would have been an F, but his honesty has impressed me somewhat of late. He’s still a hideous in game manager and has cost the team 4-5 wins. (Please don’t be back in 2014)
Sandy Alderson – B+ Gotta say, this guy gets a lot of shit but he’s probably does his best work with the major league team this season. The bullpen has been much better and a lot of under the radar moves have worked out brilliantly. The Young trade looks like a steal so far as well. Sure Marcum and Lyon were horrible but who saw that coming?
These two guys clean up after me.
As for the rest of the N.L. East….
I was terrifyingly dead on with my preseason predictions. The Marlins stink, the Phillies are a .500 team at best, the Nationals have taken a step back. (Though a bigger one than I anticipated), and the Braves outside of their 12-1 start have played pretty much .500 baseball. Yes, the Braves are in first place but that’s only because they are the least shitty team in the division.
What lies ahead…
I have no idea. The Mets are so unpredictable, the last several years they have had decent first halves only to crumble in the second half. Could they perchance do the opposite this season? Probably not but if they can just keep playing at the same level they’ve been playing over the last month for the rest of the season they could finish with a respectable record. Even though he sucks, I assume Terry Collins will finish out the season as manager and his fate will be decided after the season. Might we also see Wilmer Flores and Travis d’Arnaud some time before the end of the season? Will Ike Davis retire soon? Will Jordany Valdespin show up at Citi Field with a harpoon gun and napalm? Tune in next week!
Save me from the banana planet!
I’m Joe Pontillo!
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Make sure to check out my “MLB Fan Cave” video. It’ll help you cope with the lack of real baseball this week.
