Welcome to the Anastasia show everybody…
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MTV’s The Challenge: Rivals 2 hasn’t really been about the rivalries so far, but about how rookies and inexperienced players can be gone in a flash. Last week we saw Anastasia’s tongue dragging on the floor (or down CT’s throat) like a dog going after a juicy steak anytime CT was around. Dude played her like a fiddle, and it took eight people in the house to let her in on a little secret. CT PLAYS ALL THE NEW CHICKS!!! How could you be a member of a Real World cast and not know who CT is?
We find out right off the bat that Anastasia has been bragging about playing “just the tip” with CT. When CT is questioned by Frank in the kitchen, CT flat out denies it. Frank, being the drama queen that he is, flys off the handle and starts screaming at CT. Frank’s tough guy act is one of my favorite things to see on The Challenge. He’s the only guy I’ve ever seen who tries to get all hard, then literally goes and cries about it…to another guy. The fact that Frank tries to fight CT is beyond comical. CT has yet again, done basically nothing, and has gotten someone to lose their shit. Frank starts flailing at CT, trying to throw punches, then Knight of all people, comes flying in and takes Frank to the ground as Frank rips CT’s shirt in half. And as stated before, he goes and cries about it to another male player in the house. Literal tears.
Let’s head out to the challenge, shall we? The drama is just starting to heat up when TJ has them come to the beach for the “XXX Challenge”. But, before the challenge can start, TJ has to reveal to Cooke that her new partner is Cara Maria. Let’s just say that she didn’t exactly get a round of applause from the rest of the crew. In the first part of the challenge, teams must use pelvic thrusts to cut a branch in half with a saw. In the second part, each team is strapped to each other torso to torso with one person is carrying the other. The person standing up has to take a ball that is on a pedestal and get it in their mouth and carry it through an obstacle course. Once at the end, they must drop the ball and the person hanging upside down must pick it up with their mouth, and put it in a canister. This was one of the most absurd challenges I have ever seen.
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This week the girls were going into The Jungle, so the guys went first. Right off the bat, Wes pulls a classic dick move and decides to just quit. Since there was no elimination on the line, he figured he wouldn’t strain himself or get CT’s nuts in his face, so he sat on the sand like a little bitch. CT had a great time with it and finished the sawing himself, but not without having a bit of fun with it. After the first part was done, Preston pussed out and decided he didn’t want Knight’s balls in his face either. Hmmmm…Ok Preston. Later on at The Jungle, we find out that the teams of CT/Wes and Preston/Knight will both be penalized at the next challenge for quitting. Nice job, morons. Zach and Trey were the big winners, $1,000 richer. As for the girls, there hasn’t been such a pathetic showing of athleticism in the history of The Challenge. There wasn’t too much excitement here. Paula and Emily dominated again. At this pace, Paula and Emily might just win every single challenge. It’s too easy for them. I was pretty excited to see Anastasia and Jessica come in last. I really want Anastasia out of here.
The next episode of the Anastasia show was even better than the Frank/CT confrontation because, Anastasia now has done a 180 on her puppy dog act with CT. She starts screaming at him, cursing left and right, making a total fool of herself. While she’s carrying on about how CT is such a douche, he interrupts her to ask, “Did we change our Facebook statuses?”. I nearly died. And So did Anastasia. She unleashes a Tekken 3, 13 hit combo, of slaps to the face, ripping off glasses, kicks to the groin, and punches to the back. All while CT is just walking out of the room. Then Knight shows up again and tries to separate them. Dude is just EVERYWHERE.
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When the guys deliberate about which girls team is going to face Anastasia and Jessica in The Jungle, they decided to vote Cara Maria and Cooke in because Cara Maria just showed up. Ok, whatever. Not the greatest reason why, but sure, let’s roll with it.
There was some chicken fight nonsense going on in the pool with Camilla and Diem when CT decides it would be a good time to get involved, with no bathing suit on of course. CT gets the points for nudity this week.
On to The Jungle…Pretty simple elimination challenge. While suspended upside down over a pit of water, you and your partner must use a tiny hand saw to cut a thick rope that is being used to hold the other team up in the air. If you cut your opponent’s rope before they cut yours, you stave off elimination and they go home. And now the drama begins. Anastasia starts having a panic attack right before the game is about to start. Personally I think she’s just putting on a show to get sympathy points from everyone, but she finally gets her shit together and gets back up. While this is going on, Cooke and Cara Maria are just hanging above a pit of water, doing nothing. Cooke finally can’t hold it in anymore and decides this is as good of a time as any to take a piss. Yup, she just empties her bladder with a 10 foot long stream of urine, right into the water she might wind up in. Only on The Challenge.
Chicks hang upside down, cut the rope, and Anastasia and Jessica plummet into the water. Ultra boring, but it got the job done. Oh, it looks like there are some reruns of The Anastasia show on! “I Can’t See!!! My Eyes Are Cloudy!!!! ARRRGGGGG!!!!” Damn bitch, just go home and stop acting like a fool. TJ is clearly not happy with her. He wanted to boot her ass after the first batch of nonsense, but this time she’s gone for good. Thank god. One less space cadet in the house.
Now that everyone is back at the house with their guards down, my man Jordan starts macking his game on Sarah. I have mad respect for this dude. He’s got a deformed hand and it’s very apparent that he don’t let his handicap get in the way of ANYTHING. Earlier in the show he was doing deadlifts with Zach using essentially one hand and one finger. this was going on all up in front of the ladies of the house too. The dude just oozes confidence and nothing can stop him. This was very clear when he was spittin’ game to Sarah. He clearly was good at it because she felt the need to back into the house and rip her shirt off and thrust her tongue down his throat right as the episode ended. GET SOME!!!
On to the TSB Rivals: 2 Fantasy League scoring. For complete rules of how the scoring works, please click this link.
@BaggyDizzle -(CT/Wes + Anastasia/Jessica)
CT: +10 (Denying sex), +25 (Fight w/ Frank), +20 (Nakes in pool) = 55 Pts
Wes: -5 (Quitting in challenge)
Anastasia: +25 (Lying about banging CT), -5 (last in challenge), +25 (Fighting CT), -5 (Breaking down before Elimination challenge), 40 pts
Jessica: -5 (last in challenge)
85 Pts
@NASCARKrissy – (Johnny/Frank + Jasmine/Theresa)
Johnny: 0
Frank: +25 (Fighting CT), +5 (Verbal fighting with CT), +20 (Crying) = 5- pts
Jasmine: 0
Theresa: 0
50 pts
@iiiRoman12: (Derek/Robb + Cooke/Cara Maria)
Derek: 0
Robb: 0
Cooke: +5 Winning Elimination Challenge , +10 Pissing
Cara Maria: +5 Winning Elimination Challenge
20 pts
@ttlsportsblog (Earl): (Emily/Paula + Jordan/Marlon)
Emily: +5 winning challenge
Paula: +5 winning challenge
Jordan: +5 (Making out with Sarah)
Marlon: 0
15 Pts
@D_Schmelzer: (Sarah/Trishelle + Knight/Preston)
Sarah: +5 (Making out with Jordan)
Trishelle: 0
Knight: +10 (Takedown of Frank), +5 (Restraining Anastasia)
Preston: -5 (Quitting in challenge)
15 pts
@PhiLthyMcNasty_: (Zach/Trey + Joana/Nany)
Zach: +5 winning challenge
Trey: +5 winning challenge
Joana: 0
Nany: 0
10 pts
@HookTSB: (Ty/Leroy + Diem/Aneesa)
Ty: 0
Leroy: 0
Diem: 0
Anessa: 0
0 Pts
@Mlukes14: (Camila/Jemmye + Dunbar/Tyrie)
Camila: 0
Jemmye: 0
Dunbar: Eliminated
Tyrie: Eliminated
0 Pts
Standings after Episode 2
| Episode 1 | Episode 2 | Total | |
| BaggyDizzle | 50 | 85 | 135 |
| NASCARKrissy | 10 | 50 | 60 |
| iiiroman12 | 25 | 20 | 45 |
| ttlsportsblog | 15 | 15 | 30 |
| PhilthyMcNasty_ | 10 | 10 | 20 |
| mlukes14 | 20 | 0 | 20 |
| D_Schmelzer | 0 | 15 | 15 |
| HookTSB | 5 | 0 | 5 |
