I can’t help it. I’ve been in a state of television depression since Breaking Bad has completed it’s run. Even though there is nothing that can completely fill the void that it’s left behind, The Walking Dead can satiate some of my hunger. I’m not a huge fan of the Walking Dead but I am an admirer of the show which I feel give my recaps a more balanced approach to watching it as opposed to the consistent wonderment, amazement, and feels I’d have from watching Breaking Bad. Damn, there I go with comparing the Walking Dead to Breaking Bad. I’ll stop now. I promise that I’ll talk about the season premiere for the rest of the recap. Pinky swear.
The last we’ve seen of our favorite roaming band of post apocalyptic survivors was about 30 days ago in TV time. The Guvnor and his army of cronies tried to take over the prison only to see themselves turned away by Rick and the crew’s version of the scorched earth technique. The Guvnor got his panties caught up in a bunch, started to wild out, and then left his town while cackling like he belonged in a loony bin. Meanwhile, Rick decided to have a heart and decided to assimilate the rest of the town into the prison. So what’s happened since then? Rick stepped down from being the leader and the group is now governed by a council that consists of Hershel, Daryl, Carol, Tyreese, Glenn, and Sasha among others. This council has helped turn the prison into a nice, well oiled machine that runs on all cylinders. Since Rick has stepped down, he’s become the agricultural expert as well as raising livestock…becoming a regular Old McDonald. He also doesn’t carry a piece on him anymore…probably in attempts to set an example for Carl who wasted a kid without hesitation last year. Carl’s hair grew more Beiber-ish, gets geekier in a world without Comic Con, and still pouts like the petulant child that he is. Darryl is a prison celebrity for the mere fact he goes hunting for food. Meanwhile, Michonne leaves the prison for long periods in search of the Guvnor and comics for Carl. Somehow, during the past 30 days, she’s also learned to smile and crack jokes! Awwww, she has a heart! Meanwhile, Carol runs a story time session for the kids which is actually a cover for a self defense class. Carol luh the children. Also, new characters! Beth has a boyfriend that has crazy eyes! Cutty has a girlfriend! Also, Deangelo Barksdale joins Cutty on the Walking Dead as a former military medic! Let’s not forget that there is a white Steve Urkel that is best buds with Carl and he doesn’t care about what you think about story time because he’s down for whatever. That can only lead to comic hijinks, right? Lots of new happenings! I’m so excite.
There are two important arcs in this episode.
A whole bunch of people from the prison (consisting of Cutty aka Tyreese, Sasha, Michonne, Beth’s boyfriend, Glenn and Deangelo Barksdale) go out armed to the teeth for a supermarket/drug store run because…..well, it’s not enough that they grow food and raise livestock, they need canned goods and TV dinners. Duh. That’s cool and all but little do they know that there is a bunch of walkers and a helicopter that is pretty totaled on the roof of the supermarket! Ominous indeed. Anyways, everyone is walking around with their shopping carts and crossing off things on their shopping lists. This is when we get our first taste of character development from Deangelo Barksdale (I will be calling him this until I feel he’s relevant enough where I’ll have to remember his name)! He walks by the wine section and he’s all like “Ooooooooooh, time to get turnt up!” but then he’s like “Awwwwwwww but now I have the feels”. Like the clumsy foolio that he is, he causes the whole rack of wine to fall on top of him when he tries to put a bottle back. Now, not only does the crew have to try to pull him out from underneath it but it causes enough of a commotion to rile up the walkers on the roof. I know what you’re thinking. “But Hasiiiiiiiiiiiiib! Walkers don’t know how to use the stairs!” Aha, but the roof is rotting and….raining zombies! The crew is fending for themselves and DeAngelo Barksdale is like “Hey, guys. I’m still under this rack of booze which makes me not mobile while there are zombies roaming about”. Daryl finally pulls him out but not without a casualty: Beth’s boyfriend becomes zombie food. When they go back, Daryl tells Beth about her boyfriend but she’s all like “whatever”. Daryl took it harder than she did. Meanwhile, Glenn finds out from Lauren that she’s not pregnant but she wanted to be! Yo, Glenn. She’ll probably leave with half. Also, the white Steve Urkel got sick halfway through the episode, he goes to the bathroom, dies, and then becomes a zombie.
Meanwhile, Rick is doing stuff. Farm stuff. Carl notices how the pig is sick. Rick doesn’t care. Later on in the episode, Hershel walks over and tells him that all he needs are overalls and a bigger ass at which I’m confused. Is Rick trying to be a farmer or a plumber? Hershel also tells him that he needs to carry a gun when he leaves the premises. You know…because there are zombies walking around. So Rick leaves the premises, with a gun, to go check on the traps that he’s set for pigs, boars, and other animals that the people can eat. He notices that he’s caught a pig when he sees a woman jump up on it like she wanted it to put a ring on her. She notices Rick is nearby and talks about how she’s hungry and wants her and her husband to join his camp. Look, this may seem like a tangent but it’s not. I want to let y’all know that I like cats. I condone owning cats. At one point in my life, I would like to own a cat. Maybe two. I would never own three cats but I know people who do and I feel like they are toeing the line. If you own 4 cats or more, you are on the highway to the danger zone. You are probably bat shit crazy. There are exceptions to the rule but 95% of the time, I will be scared of you if I just described you. And this lady that Rick just met? She looks like she’s owned a million cats. I might be undershooting this actually. She had the look of someone with multiple cat wounds. Rick is a sucker though so he’s like “Alright. But I want to ask you and your hubby 3 questions and if I like your answers, I’ll let you in.” Knowing Rick, those questions are “Do you like stuff? Do you do stuff? Why?” Anyways, she leads her back to her camp (which is literally a camp), and she tries to stab Rick and feed him to her undead, beheaded husband. When she fails, she performs seppuku. As a dying wish, Rick asks her the 3 questions: How many zombies have you killed? How many people have you killed? Why? Then she dies and Rick does the Rick cry face which looks something like this:
Maaaaaan, it was a crazy cat lady. Who cares if the crazy cat lady cries? Especially if that crazy cat lady TRIED TO KILL YOU. Anyways, Rick goes back to the prison and finds out that the pig died.
Overall, a pretty good way to start the season. But the Walking Dead never had problems with kicking things off with a bang. The trouble lies in the fact that there is no semblance of consistency throughout the season. However, this first episode brings up some interesting stuff that we may have to think about during the season. First of all, no one is safe inside of the prison with the walker formerly known as Steve Urkel roaming about. I’m sure the next episode will deal with that first. However, that also brings up the following query: Was Steve Urkel and the pig suffering from a similar ailment? If so, will this be a continuing issue throughout the season? I’m also wondering if Lauren ever gets pregnant during this season. There is also the Guvnor’s shadow looming over the premiere and possibly throughout the season until he makes his appearance. I’m also wondering how many more jokes and smiles Michonne can crack this season!
How did you guys feel about the premiere?