While everyone this morning is talking about Miley twerking, we at TSB are going to act grown. Well, that’s not completely true. I don’t speak for everyone at Total Sports Blog but when I’m not at work, I only act my age half the time. Also, we posted a blog post about Miley twerking last night. Also, I’m sure some people at TSB is still talking about Twerk-gate. But we’re never completely honest, all of the time. And that is how Breaking Bad started off last night. With Todd leaving a voicemail on Walter White’s phone but in a tone of voice that softly says “No big deal” (it totally seems like it will be) while glossing over a couple things as well as him telling his Uncle and his cohort about the train job of last season while over-exaggerating a couple points and leaving out some key ones. It was a perfect way to start off an episode that was about Walter telling strings of half-lies in the form of confessions in order to keep the fabric of his reality together….but all things fall apart.
Half lie/confession #1- Walt tells Flynn that his cancer has come back. Why? Flynn asks Walt where he was last night which Walt effectively dodges like Barry Sanders in his prime. Walt Jr then tells him that he’s going over to Aunt Marie’s to fix their computer and have dinner at their place (LIESSSS!!). Right when he thinks he’s out, Walt pulls Flynn back in. Walt tells him about the cancer rearing it’s ugly head again and saying that is the reason why he’s been out of it lately (which isn’t completely false) and he just wants “everyone to remain positive” which when you translate it to Heisenbergian means: “I don’t want you to go to the Schraders’ and I want you to stay in line and dammit, why aren’t you more like Jesse, and why haven’t you complained about breakfast yet this season?” Flynn falls hook, line and sinker and follows the company line.
Half lie/confession #2 – The confession DVD. Before the awesomely hilarious and cutting to the core tacqueria scene, Skyler sets up a video camera to set up what seems like a confession video. Fast forward to the tacqueria scene that is periodically broken up hilariously by a unassuming waiter, and the Schraders and the Whites are in the midst of a stare down to see who blinks first. Walt and Skyler, sensing that Hank will never let up in trying to get Walt, wonder what will get this crusade to end. “Why don’t you kill yourself, Walt. Kill yourself.” Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, shots fired. The Whites get up to leave but not before Walt slides a DVD over to Hank. In the next scene, Hank and Marie are watching the confession DVD…..but not the confession that anyone was expecting. Walter confesses to Hank being Heisenberg and Walt being intimidated to making meth for him. He used some truths along the way in order to further fortify the lie that he created in order to fully implicate Hank as Heisenberg. That’s not all as Hank also learns that Walter footed all of his rehabilitation bills and he realizes how dire his situation actually is.
Half lie/confession #3- The hug. After Hank’s interrogation with Jesse (Yeah right, squeal to Hank? pffffffffffffft), Saul takes Jesse to the middle of the desert to meet with Walt. Walt tells Jesse about Saul’s eraser (the guy who can help you disappear off the grid and give you a new identity). Walt continues about how since Jesse’s so young and been through so much, that this is the correct course of action for him and would be a burden off his shoulders. Pinkman wasn’t born yesterday, yo. He asks Walt to stop working him like he does all the time and just be real with him……that Walt wants him to leave town or he’ll kill him like he killed Mike. Walt, seeing that his partner is on the verge, can do nothing but encapsulate him in his embrace. On one hand, I feel like the hug is legitimate. Walt does this because Jesse is more of a son to him than Flynn is. He’s been through so much with him that he has something that resembles feelings for him. On the other hand, I also feel like the hug is also vehicle for which Walt can get what he wants. Even though Jesse is practically family to Walt, he’s still become a liability and he can’t have him around if he’s in the middle of a nervous breakdown.
However, the biggest lie or non confession of the episode is the one that Walt has ever been a part of in the past couple seasons and Walt didn’t say a single thing about it during the hour……it also is the one that can cause everything to come apart at the seams. While Jesse is waiting for the eraser to pick him up, he finds out that his dope was lifted by Huell. Then comes the slow realization (almost unbelievably, if you ask me)…..Huell lifted the ricin cigarette off of him and gave it to Walt in order to poison Brock. Jesse goes ballistic, goes back to Saul’s, and beats the necessary info out of him. Walt hears about this, goes to the car wash and tells Skyler a lie about how everything is fine, and then proceeds to take a gun that he’s hidden in the soda machine. Meanwhile, Jesse is at the White household and is dousing the house in gasoline.
Some other Breaking Bad thoughts/memes/funny shizz:
– At the beginning of the episode when Jesse refuses to snitch on Walt to Hank, Hank tells him “He really did a number on you, didn’t he?” Hank’s on point and, at the same time, he really has no idea the extent of the number that Walt was didding on Jesse. I know that’s not really English but go along with it.
-Breaking Bad really toes the line between intensity and humor:
-Probably the best thing regarding Breaking Bad on the internet, Breaking Bad as a romantic comedy:
