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Reviews

What if Marvel’s ‘The Avengers’ Were Professional Athletes?

TotalSportsBlog 10 years ago 5 Min Read
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Marvel’s The Avengers was one of the biggest box office hits of all time.  If you didn’t enjoy the scene where The Incredible Hulk threw Loki around like a rag-doll, you have no soul.  I watched the movie for about the 4th time this past weekend and thought to myself, “which professional athletes would best represent The Avengers?”  

Random, I know, but fun to think about nonetheless.  Now I know you Marvel purists out there are thinking “Hook, the original Avengers were Iron Man, Ant Man, the Wasp, Thor, the Hulk, and then Captain America came along a little later.”  No shit.  I read comics when I was a kid and have access to Wikipedia, too, but Joss Whedon didn’t give a shit about Ant Man or the Wasp, and neither do I.  For the purposes of this article, we’re going to use the core characters in the 2012 movie version, which includes Iron Man, Captain America, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, Black Widow, Hawkeye, and Nick Fury.   Let’s start off with my personal favorite Avenger, Captain America:

Captain America – LeBron James

LeBron James best personifies Captain America

Captain America is a genetically enhanced superhero who is faster and stronger than everyone.  LeBron James is the most elite physical specimen on the planet who is faster and stronger than everyone in the NBA.  They’re a perfect match.

Iron Man – Steve Nash

Steve Nash best personifies Iron Man

Tony Stark, the man behind the Iron Man suit, is an absolute genius.  Two-time NBA MVP Steve Nash has the highest basketball IQ of all-time.  Think about it- how else could a 6 foot 3 white Canadian with limited physical ability win 2 consecutive MVP awards in a league where the average player is a 6 foot 9 freak of nature?  He’s figured out basketball.  Just like Iron Man figured out how to build himself a militarized suit that basically gives him super powers.

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The Incredible Hulk – Alistair Overeem

Alistair Overeem best personifies The Incredible Hulk

If CGI wasn’t so advanced, Alistair Overeem would easily be the new Lou Ferrigno.  While I initially felt Brock Lesnar would make a perfect Incredible Hulk, I quickly remembered how the insanely ripped Overeem ended Lesnar’s MMA career with a swift kick to the breadbasket, so he gets the nod.

Thor – Tom Brady

Tom Brady best personifies Thor

If you polled the people of New England, they’d probably identify Tom Brady as a god more than the hammer wielding super hero, Thor.  The similarities between the two are uncanny.  The long flowing hair, larger than life personalities, scoring with hot chicks (Gizelle/Natalie Portman), the list goes on.  The more I think about it, Tom Brady might actually be Thor.

Black Widow – Gina Carano

Gina Carano best personifies Black Widow

I haven’t seen the action movie Gina Carano was in, but I imagine if her acting chops had more seasoning she may have actually gotten the role of Black Widow over Scarlett Johansson.  While Rhonda Rousey is more of a martial arts expert than Carano, she’s unfortunately not as hot.  Carano is still revered as one of the best female MMA fighters of all time, and with her looks she’d make a perfect Black Widow.

Hawkeye – Steph Curry

Steph Curry best personifies Hawkeye

Hawkeye’s super power is being extremely accurate.  I don’t think there’s anyone in professional sports as accurate  as the Golden State Warrior’s Steph Curry.  If Hawkeye had bum ankles, these two would be a perfect match.

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Nick Fury – Tony Parker

Tony Parker best personifies Nick Fury

Tony Parker is so much like Nick Fury that I’m pretty sure that’s who he was dressing up as in the above Halloween photo.  Parker is a born leader who played MVP caliber basketball this post-season before succumbing to injuries.  If a professional athlete were to be pegged as the leader of The Avengers, it’d be Tony Parker.

What other professional athletes do you think best personify super heroes?  Let’s hear it in the comment section.

TotalSportsBlog June 25, 2013
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